It’s been a little while since my last post and I feel a lot has changed.
I’ve started embracing my creativity again. I find that being creative in general makes my heart happy and my brain relaxed. It’s all very therapeutic.
I’m now learning to make videos / reels of my creative actions and I’m quite enjoying it.
After my relapse 2 weeks ago I’m still recovering. Even though my brain thinks I should be getting up and taking part of life again. In my last post I mentioned that I’m in the danger zone. This turns out to be very true. Also, I must be a very slow learner (or just plain stubborn).
So far I’ve taken two days in a row to put some IKEA drawers for our new kitchen together. My reason: I’m really enjoying it (yes, I really do 🤩) and it gives me mental energy. This is true but it’s also mentally quite tiring. Not sure if it was necessarily a good or bad decision, but I do know that when I start something fun, I have difficulty stopping. I don’t see when it’s getting too much and only realize that I should have stopped when I’m already breaking.
This also happened when a few days after coming home, I wanted to try and have a little walk. I walked with my lovely husband for less than 10 minutes. He (not me) then suggested to go back and I had to stop on the way back because it was simply too much. Only then I realized I’d gone too far. I also forgot that we still had to go back of course. 🙄
Similar thing with going to the shop. It’s just too tiring too quickly.
It does get really upsetting. My family has been absolutely lovely and especially my husband has been the best. He’s been very patient with me and has been doing his best trying to find ways to basically telling me to sit down and rest and stop doing anything, without upsetting me or making me feel like a nuisance, because that is how I feel at the moment. But saying that, I’m trying hard to change my perception of it all.
So now we (read my husband and son) have created an area in our garage where I can sit and be creative again. It’s been well overdue that I had a space like this and it’s very basic, but it’s there. A table, a chair, paint etc and some privacy. I started last week but that was still on a little table outside. Now I have what I’d like to call the start of my own studio 👩🏻🎨. It’s part of my stress management.
Brainwaffling 